New Social Circle

Sometimes I have this feeling as though I am still in high school, desiring for people to like me and call me and ask me to hang out. I often wonder if I am the only person who thinks that I am easily forgettable. I may be in one of my moods where I am quite melancholy and reminiscent of the past. But I feel as though since I move around a lot, I have a hard time keeping good friendships. And I know that that is partially my fault, but I cannot help but wonder if I have spread myself too thin. I have too many friend groups in too many different locations and I cannot keep up with all of them. And then I get frustrated when I am not thought of or invited out.

I have my high school friends, which are amazing and right now they are the ones that I have close. Then there are my Ecuador friends, who are spread out all of the United States and the ones that I was close with do not even live in the land locked 48. Then there is my Trinity Western friends who all reside on the west coast. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I only had one group of friends. I do realize that my life would not be as bountiful. But I also would not know any better. It is also hard to not have a go to friend that is close. My go to friend moved 16 hours away.

I guess this is the time in my life when I need to do the reaching out. For the majority of my life the social interactions were constructed for me. In high school there was youth group or other groups to join where you met people with similar interests. But you already had the classes and what not where you sat by the same people everyday. You were bound to meet people. Then there was Ecuador where they had a whole week of "get to know you" activities. In university community was stressed to a degree that almost forced you to get to know others. There was ample amounts of socials that created these interactions. And you truly desired to have that. University is simply high school with out the parents. Everyone still wants to fit in and does not want to do anything that will ostracize them too much.

Now I have to create my own social interactions. And I feel as though I was not warned of this. If I lived back at school I would not have to create anything. I would already have a group of friends. And here I do as well, but some of these people I have not had a meaningful conversation with since high school. I am not that person anymore and I am not sure if I know how to interact with them. I guess this is just one more sign that I am a grown up. I have to recreate my friend circle in a sense. I have to learn how to create healthy social interactions. I will let you know how that goes.

Until then.