Start Something That Matters

Many of you know that I am in a place in my life right now where I do not know what I should be doing. Some have said its a crossroads but I almost feel like it is a dead end.

I have been desiring a job that I love. And I do not know exactly what that is. I feel as though I want to do something that makes a difference or is in some way fulfilling while still making some money because going to university did not pay for it self, ya know what I'm saying.

I am currently teaching in a different setting, which many people said I should do before I threw the baby out with the bath water. It has been a very different experience. I have far less kids, the administration is truly there to help me and not to harass me,  the curriculum is spelled out for me. I am not stressed out. It has been a beautiful transition. But I am really feeling like teaching is not for me. So still in the same place I was in before.

A few months ago I put a bunch of books into piles that I did not need anymore. One of them was the book by Blake Mycoskie, the man who started the TOMS shoes company. (clarification, I had two of these books). While I was looking through my stack of books I decided to actually look more into this one called Start Something That Matters. I didn't read it initially because I thought it was merely a book about his journey, which I am not sure why I thought that was boring, but okay previous self. It has been one of those timing things. I received these books when I bought TOMS seriously years ago. And now I am actually reading it and it is exactly what I am needing right now.
If you want to buy the book you can do it my clicking on the link above.



It has challenged me in the idea that all you need is an idea, a spark and some great people around you to make it happen. He asked a few questions that really made me think. Because my issue isn't that I have this idea and I cannot get it off the ground. My issue is that I do not even have an idea. I have interests, hobbies, passions and I am not sure how they morph together into something that means something.

Here are the questions if you are not sure what your passions are-

1. If you did not have to worry about money, what would you do with your time?

2. What kind of work would you want to do?

3. What cause would you serve?



1- I feel as though I would spend my time volunteering, truly- not just to sound pompous. I would love to go to different countries, traveling, being submersed in a culture and truly trying to understand the differences between us.

2. I would be doing work where I am truly helping people, making an impact. Interning at different non-profits.

3- This one is difficult, I mean I really, truly would be doing this for the benefit of Christ. And I can only do great things with his strength and help. I feel as though I do not have a certain cause yet and maybe this is my issue. I haven't found my cause yet.

So these questions are questions that I am going to be mulling over for sometime and may change or become more specific. I have a year of my teaching job. So I have time to figure things out and then move forward with more direction, hopefully.

I have found the headband that my head loves.

If you love a good headband that doesn't move and you want to support a great cause then Banded is for you. My friend gave me an awesome gift right before school started and it has saved many a bad hairdo. Each band they sell gives three meals to a child in Uganda.

They have wide bands, skinny, and one inch bands. They also have hair ties. They have velvet underneath them to help them from sliding back on your head. You know the headbands that you constantly have to readjust, these do not require so much maintenance to keep them in place.




Here is a sample of what they look like. There are many styles to choose from and they are very reasonably priced. from $10-13. I am already looking into buying more. So if you want to save that hairdo and also help a great cause head over to banded2gether and make a purchase.

Don't tell me what I DID!

I had the privilege of attending a very dear friend of mine's weddings yesterday. She was very kind and invited me to partake in some of the events of the wedding weekend that usually only the bridal party or family are invited to. They day did not exactly go as planned, it rained and it was meant to be an outdoor wedding, but it didn't matter. The joy and love that was throughout the entire event was evident to everyone that was there.

I was in charge of the video camera. So basically I called myself the videographer. And I took this seriously. So when it came time to cut the cake and I was about to miss it I rushed over with camera in hand ready to capture the cake in face moment.  I was not too late and got it all on film. I was talking to the mother of the bride this lady comes over and is noticeably distraught. She grabs my arm and proceeded to practically shake her finger at me and scold me as if I were a child. Little did I know that in my rush over the get on camera all the shenanigans I stood in front of someone else that she informed me was family. She also said that I told the person I got in front of to "Get out of my way." When I told her I did not say that. She told me that indeed I did say that. (side note, I love when people tell me what I did, sarcasm) She was so mad, it was startling. I almost thought she was going to smack me or something. The mother of the bride was still standing there and put her arm around her, trying to calm the situation down, and said this is a celebration and the lady told her to back off. Seriously you just told the mother of the bride to back off. I can only imagine that my face is showing a mixture of shock and awe at what I cannot believe is happening to me. After she tried to tell me what I did, I realized there is nothing I can do in this situation but apologize, because she already has it set in her mind that I terribly wronged someone that she loves. So I say, "I am very sorry I did not know that I did that." She says, "Thank you for apologizing," and walks away. The mother of the bride says we need to pray for her, which made me feel a tad better, but I was affected by this turn of events for the next few hours.

It is very hard for me to apologize for something that I know I did not do. I had a serious conflict inside of me. On one side I knew what God wanted me to do, simply apologize. It was truly all she wanted. But then there was this other part of me that wanted to stand my ground because I know that I did not say, "Get out of my way." Anyone who knows me knows I would never say that. I knew I wasn't wrong. And I could not stand having this lady tell ME WHAT I DID. This was a classic example of the sinful part of me and what I wanted to do and my Christian part of me what I should do. Following what I knew God wanted from me deescalated the situation. It was solved in simply a few minutes, if that. If I would have tried to prove myself it would have only made it worse and nothing would have been solved. A huge scene could have been caused and I would have been that girl who is part of a fight at a wedding. Would have made for a great story in a few years but for the immediate time would not have been very flattering.

I do not like how I am now seen in their eyes, I think that is what bothers me the most. Not that my image in tainted but I do strive to be a person that has integrity and what I say I do and I live by certain principles. When someone accuses me of something that goes against who I am and what I am about it affects me. I know that I will probably never see these people again, but for some reason it still affects me even a day later. I know it also should not affect me as much as it does because this lady doesn't know me and the only person that I should care about their perception of me is God. But I am human I feel greatly and I do care what people think of me to a point.  This reminds me of people accusing Jesus of so many things that he didn't do or did do and they twisted it and he never fought back. He knew it wouldn't make a difference. They had their minds made up about him. And I felt the same way with this lady, no matter what I would say it wouldn't matter, she had her mind made up about me.

My monthly love, Birchbox- try higher end beauty products without the higher end price tag

I'm not sure if you are anything like me, but I love beauty products. I worked at a beauty supply store and felt completely at home. It was one of the jobs that I felt very capable and fulfilled. It my sound weird but I felt as though I was helping people to feel better about themselves. It also helped that I believed in the product that I was selling. They helped people around the world and fought for different charities it was great. But I also could try products without having to buy them.

Well I have found something that allows me to try the newest thing that is out there without breaking the bank. This company allows you to try samples of the newest and greatest products for only $10 a month. It is fantastic. You want to try that new bb cream but don't want to spend $25, you can. Then if you like it you can purchase it right on the site. This company is called Birchbox. You are able to create a profile where you rate certain items and they look at your profile when they are creating a box for you. You receive about 5-6 items such as, makeup, skin care, hair products, and some snacks or chocolates.

When the little pink box comes I am always very excited. You open it and this is what you see.

 

 

Inside the pink box is another box, don't worry it doesn't get smaller and smaller, but I do keep these boxes to use for gifts.

 

This is what was in the box this month

 

 



 

 



 

Starting at the top is Nexus shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair. Going clockwise is a black eye liner from Noir. The little container with TEE -HEE had a few of the other items in it. Then there is a Supergoop hand cream. Next is a great bronzer from ModelCo. Lastly there is a detoxing face wash from Vasanti.

 

The items that I really like from this box are the eye liner, it goes on so smooth, the bronzer which creates a natural looking glow, and the hand cream that is thick but not greasy and smells great almost like a tea or clean sort of smell. I have not used the shampoo or face wash. I do not really use face wash because I use a Norwex face cloth that does not require soap or a cleanser of any kind. It is naturally antibacterial and removes all of my make up no joke.

 

 

I absolutely love Birchbox. It is cheaper than most other monthly subscriptions that I know of. I have used Julep but it was $20 and mostly nail polish and it did not seem as worth it, but I did love Julep as well, when I was trying to build up my nail polish stash.

 

Birchbox also provides you with great travel sized toiletries I have used them on most of the trips I have taken in the last few years. It was great for those people that want to expand their beauty regimen and try higher end products without the higher end cost. 

One last hurrah! Then school begins!

So I went on one last hurrah before school starts. My mother and I, because we know where I live, went into Chicago. We planned it all on Tuesday, the day we left, because we are so decisive and pre planned. Not at all.

We went on Booking.com to find a hotel to stay at that was reasonably priced. We found one for $132 taxes not included. Inn at Lincoln Park. And then I used the best app to find tickets to sporting events Gametime. My friend used this when we were in Boston and it was terrific. It shows you the view from the seats and the tickets go right to your phone, no printer needed. This is very nice for purchasing tickets the day of or practically at the gate, like we did in Boston. They are also very reasonably priced.



These were our seats. They were pretty good! And the Cubs won. That is a big deal.

The hotel was very cute. It was very old but updated while still keeping its character. The rooms with the two double beds had two bathrooms they were so cute. I could tell that back in the day they used to be two very small rooms that they renovated into one room and kept the two bathrooms. I loved the history of it all.

I also wanted to do something that was not so much touristy. So taking a note from my Friend who finds the greatest little shops wherever we go, I took to Yelp. This app has been my favorite go to where ever I am to find good places to eat or unique, quaint, local shops.

The first place we ate at was a Mediterranean/ Turkish restaurant called Troy. It was delicious. We ordered Falafel, you gotta a Turkish joint, spanakopita, and a kebab platter. The best part of the meal was the bread and lentil ezme, so good.

Then, with the help of Yelp, we headed to a few little shops. The first one was surprisingly right across the street, Inkling
 

This store was everything that I love in these unique, local hole in the walls. I picked up a dainty necklace with a compass on it. Everything was very reasonably priced. That is one of my complaints with these shops is that they are too expensive, but this one was perfectly priced.

Then we went into Foursided which was kind of on accident. On Yelp it says it does custom framing and I am not in the market for that right now, but as we walked by they had cards and stationary, and small trinkets. I had to go in.
Side note, while in Boston we went to a shop called Magpie, I bought many things there and made two trips, but what really hooked me was their mystery bags. You spend five dollars and you get five random cards. I could have bought the entire stash.
Well Foursided had these mystery bags but they did not just have cards they also had flashcards, mini notebooks, candy and other miscellaneous items. It is like Christmas morning when you get these bags and I love that feeling, Its dangerous that feeling because I could spend a lot of money. But they are only $5!

The last cutesy shop I went into, for about 10 minutes on the way to the cub game and then a bit longer the next day, was called Twosided. They claim to be the red-headed step sister of Foursided.
They had the grab bags too. They also had mystery boxes but those were $15 and I am too cheap for that. But I bought 4 of the grab bags so not sure what that says. I have opened one of them and I got some magnets which are 11 dollars by themselves. There was a card, a stone shaped like a heart, 2 jolly ranchers, and an odd picture. But that is what you get.

Oh also I changed my hair I had to get rid of the purple because I am a teacher and a semi-professional and they do not usually have purple hair. I also not like my kids to think that I am hip at all ha. So I did something a bit different. No I am not cross eyed I just do not know where to look when I take a picture apparently.

Oh my mind sometimes!

I always feel bad when I get into my car and there is some sort of bug on my windshield or simply hanging out on my car and then I have to drive somewhere. I always feel as though I am taking this creepy crawler (sorry for the stereotyping of bugs there) away from its home. And then it will never find its family and friends again. It will get lost and die alone. I wonder if it can find another family or community to fit in with, but I fear that it will always feel like an outsider and never be able to fully relate to this new environment because it was so rudely plucked from comfort. I do not even like bugs but from behind the glass I feel for those little guys. Now if the bug some how gets into my car my feelings change very quickly from pity to revenge. I feel revenge because it crossed the line and invaded my area of comfort and now it must die. Funny how quickly my feelings can change.

I wonder how I ever leave the house if I can feel sorry for a living thing that has a life span like my phone's battery, short.

There may be parallels that can be made between these bugs being ripped from their homes and my life right now? But I am not going to be creating those lines for you. If you would like to ponder those invisible coincidences go right ahead. (I do not believe in coincidences for the record, but these parallels may not actually exist.) 

move in the direction you want to be--writing

This is a work in progress. Keep that in mind. Thanks!

 

As a child I never thought that I was meant for something special. Not to be dramatic but I had many things stacked against me. Or so I thought. I was in a single parent household, and my father was not exactly present. I lived in a trailer (and I found this to be the hardest thing to overcome.) I am not sure why, but to me it was very embarrassing. I didn’t like to have people over who were not close friends. I especially didn’t like to have guys over. I would watch my brother have his girlfriends over and he was not fazed one bit. He didn’t seem to care. I always wondered why I cared so much.

Looking back I had many things going for me as well. One major thing was the fact that I had a mother that was everything I needed her to be. Now she had to provide for us and be both parents which is not easy and most likely not what she planned parenting to be, alone. But she is the reason that I am who I am today.

 I always kind of felt like I was in the way when I was young. In places where I felt uncomfortable I would not make a lot of noise and would try to stay out of everyone’s way as much as possible.  This was seen the most in places where I did not feel as though I could be myself. Where I was most insecure about who I was. I find that I still do this in new situations. I feel out the situation, the people, I observe and then I begin conversation with one or two people which helps to get me out of my shell.

At home I was by myself a lot. My mom worked, not like crazy hours or anything, but I just remember being home alone a lot. It may not have been the reality but it is interesting what we remember being the norm and what may have actually been happening.

My brother is five years older than me so we were not really play mates. We may have been until he was 10 and then I was annoying to him, which to be fair I was quite annoying. I would go and try to find incriminating things in his room and I wouldn’t tell my mom I would just leave it out so he knew I saw it or that someone saw it. I know very weird, but don’t judge me you did strange things for attention when you were young too. Back off.  For example I found the swisher sweets in his drawer and left them on the dresser, or the No Dose caffeine pills, which I thought he was doing drugs but found out that they are like a cup of coffee. Without the stained teeth and bad breath.  I want to state for record. That my brother and I are much closer now. Now that I do not snoop through his things!

I did have a lot of friends in my neighborhood when I was young. But they were mostly older than me and not always the nicest. I remember once leaving one of their houses crying and then she ran up to me and slapped me for I have no idea what reason anymore, but I was just shocked. That is one memory I have where I did not speak up for myself. I wonder if I thought I deserved it or something. All the people treating me poorly, like it was consequences or something. I would let people do what they wanted to me and I did not have a back bone. This has changed but it took years to realize that I was worth it. I do not deserve to have people walk all over me. I do deserve good friends, not only deserve but need good friends. People that I can disagree with and not have to worry if they will still be my friends. Peers that are not using me or friends with me because I am weak and they can overpower me.