No Matter What

During my recent trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina accompanied by a group of high schoolers and a hand full of leaders, we went through the story of Abraham for our daily devotions.

The reason we chose Abraham's story is because our them was Riding the Wave for the week and we thought that Abraham did a good job of riding the wave that was put in front of him. Yes he made mistakes but he came back to God each time, God was faithful throughout, and in turn Abraham became more and more faithful to God.

The climax of Abraham's story, or the part of his story that people know the most, is when God asks him to sacrifice his one and only son Issac. This seems super odd to us. But Abraham was trusting God. He knew God's character so well that he knew it would all work. He saw God be faithful throughout his entire life, so why would God stop being faithful now.

The question from our devotion that day that still nags at me is this

Would you follow God no matter what?


I thought about that. That Isaac was Abraham's no matter what. And God asked Abraham to trust him with Isaac. To trust him with his no matter what.

 My follow-up question is what nags me. My follow-up question is this.

What is my no matter what?

 It's easy to say that yes I would follow God no matter what. But when push comes to shove what is that one part that I don't know if I can follow Him in, trust Him with it.

 It's easy to say that yes I trust God but when that one thing comes my way will I be able to trust him?

And I believe that our no matter what's change. And that we may not know what they are until they come our way.

There is a part of me that thinks I am very much living through my NO MATTER WHAT right now.

I do not have financial security, job security, I am far from stability in many areas in my life. The unknown has always scared me, kept me up at night, caused stress and anxiety. And my future is so unknown right now that I should be curled up in a ball. But I am not. I am choosing to trust even though everything is screaming at me to create my own future.  Everything is telling me to take control. To plan.

But then there is this whisper, wait, this whisper that sends peace throughout my entire body, and mind. It puts a smile on my face and reassures every inch of me that I am on the right path. That trusting him with everything is better than anything I could plan, plot,  or create. This is a better way of life. I am not stressing or worried, because He is going to create it for me. I merely have to walk it.

When I plan my own way, it is riddled with stress and anxiety because I am planning it myself. It is up to me, I created it, and I can make it fail.  Yes God is still in it, but I think it is up to me to make it succeed. But if God creates it, I know it will not fail. Yes I may step out of line, or I may make mistakes, but His plan will still prevail and will not fail. His plan will succeed even in spite of us.

How cool is that?!

So what is your NO MATTER WHAT? What part of your life are you still clinging to? What keeps you up at night? Because I think He may be asking that of you, to lay it at his feet and trust Him with every aspect of your life. He does not just want a part of you, as said in Revelation. He wants all of you. He tells you in Matthew to deny yourself take up your cross and follow him. In John He must become greater I must become less.

What is it for you? Are you going to continue to cling to it, to plan it out yourself, to create your own future, safe haven whatever it might be. Or are you going to stop living a life of stress and anxiety, thrown by the waves of life, as described in Ephesians. Or are you going to Ride the Wave. Which is a much more enjoyable way to live life don't ya think. With Him leading it, (giving you the waves and you on top of the wave, almost as if Jesus were your board. Navigating the wave.) Because there is only one way to live life and live it to the fullest, and that is with Jesus.

So what is your No Matter what? And what are you going to do about it. Hold it or lay it down.

Ride the wave or let the waves continually hit you and knock you over. It is up to you, always has been and always will be!

I once had plans too

Crazy to think that I am so close to not having a 2 in the front of my age anymore.

Shirt I bought for my bday from Salato on Etsy.

I often make jokes when I am working with the high schoolers and college students when they tell me their plans. I often reply, with a far off look in my eyes, I had plans once too. It is a joke. But really I once dreamt what my life would look like when I was 30. That by that time I would basically have figured out my life and then the rest of my life would be living it out. That by 30 I would have a stable job, be in a stable relationship (marriage) and be working on kid 3 of 6. (yea I know 6 is a lot). That I may be fostering a few children as well. I may at this point work from home, or work part time so that I can be there to raise my kids, and see the big moments. I thought I would have a house of my own, that was beautifully decorated and lived in. That was warm and welcoming and far from perfect, but perfect to me. That I would sit on my front porch, or back deck in the evenings after everyone was put to sleep and my husband and I would reflect on the day while sipping tea or some other hot beverage, marveling at how great our life was, how full (in a good way not in a stressed out way).

But this is not my reality. Life has a way of changing our dream, if we like it or not.

I am almost thirty. With no stable job in the near future, no stable relationship (well no relationship at all, in that way). No kids of my own, but plenty that I am in regular contact with. No house to call my own, but the one I do live in is pretty cutely decorated (I actually missed my living room when I was in Haiti, the chairs mostly, because we did not really have comfy things to sit on in Haiti, true story). I do not have a front porch or deck to sit on and marvel at my life. But when I have a chance to do that at someone else's house I take full advantage.

It is almost as if I have all of those above things, in the life I dreamed about, but just in a different way. I do have a job, of being a Christ follower and pointing people to him if that isn't a full time 24/7 type of job or way of life than I don't know what is. I do have a stable relationship, with my friends and with my Lord (which is probably the most stable relationship I will ever have.) As mentioned above I do have children that I am influencing all the time, school, youth group, church. I also have a great home, it may not be my "own" but I have made it such. I may not have a deck, but I reflect on life often. And I do work part time so that I have more time to pour into the students that God has placed in my life. So in a way I am watching them grow up.

See what I did there, instead of looking at the life I dreamed about and noticing that I do not have that, that I am not there. I am seeing how I actually do have those things, just in a way that I did not expect. And isn't that exactly how God works. He rarely, if ever, shows up or works in ways that we, as humans, might think He will.

So as I reflect on my last 3 decades of life, I would not change a thing. The good, the bad, the very ugly, the things I want to hide, the awesome experiences, the plans that didn't pan out, the heartbreak, the tears, the laughter, the goodbyes, the changes, the transitions, the whys, and the why mes, the coveting, the comparing, the highs and the lows, the low self esteem, the everything. I wouldn't change any of it. Because it has brought me to this point, this moment in time, this exact place and I can say with all assurance that I am good. I like my life (the crazy upside downness of it all). The instability of it all. Because it has forced me to trust, to trust God with it all and guess what He has showed up, He always does. But we often question if He will, but as was said in Malachi,  (3:10)Put him to the test and see what He does. (Do not take that out of context, it is meaning put your money where your mouth is and trust him, and see if he is who he says he is)

I have learned to trust him over the last 30 years in ways that I could not have fathomed. With my heart, my finances, my mind, my relationship status, my job, my direction, my purpose, my friendships.

30 isn't so bad. Anyone who is older than me is thinking, "No it isn't bad, and no I didn't have my life together either." Anyone younger than me is thinking that is too old, and probably also thinking that by 30 they need to have their life together too.

So here is to the next 30 and I will probably also feel like I do not have life figured out, but what I do know is who my focus is on and that changes everything and directs everything I do, best decision I made, to follow Christ. I am less stressed, I am less worried, less fearful, because my God is big and can handle it all. More focused on being positive, and loving others and truly trying to live like Jesus when he was on this planet. Those are my goals for the next 30.