This happens often as I work with my network marketing business or even when I teach. I get very bogged down by the details. by the numbers. by my goals. or my challenges. I get immersed in them. Find my worth in them. And then of course when things aren't going well, which inevitably happens every time because it becomes about me instead of about Him, I start to question what I am doing. If I am suppose to be doing it. If I CAN do it. How long can I really do it for.
This happens every time. When pleasing God is my focus and I am simply trying to do what I feel He wants me to do, I have a great perspective, I feel light. I feel at peace even when someone says no and things are looking bleak. I just ask someone else or I have a glimmer of my students learning something and eventually see the fruit. But I fear that I miss seeing the fruit when my perspective is off.
But every time, without fail, I start down that spiral. Where my mood, worth, outlook is wrapped up in how well I am doing according to the world's standards.
This downward spiral does not happen over night. It is a gradual acceptance of lies. It is not spending time with the one who loves me and has my back always. It is when I take a step away and say think God for helping there, but I got it now. This reminds me of the Israelites in the Old Testament. They are so thankful to God when he saves them and they have it together for awhile remembering who they serve and then the cycle happens again, when they forget. They begin to make compromises and allow people to take them down had paths and then they need God to save them again. It is a constant cycle. But I feel like I am in that cycle as well.
But today I opened by Bible app and read John 5 and it just reminded me of what my purpose here on this earth is. We often get sucked into the rat race of life. Getting ahead and getting promotions and having more money. But truly we are here to bring God glory. To point others to him. That is our purpose. It is quite simple when you think about it. We complicate it, by wanting to do everything right. By Overthinking it. So concerned with the future. instead of today.
God does not discuss jobs and vocation very much in the Bible because what you do as a job is not as important as who you are doing it for. I needed to be reminded of this today when I couldn't sleep last night because I didn't feel like I was being as successful as I should be. The list of things to do and people to contact were running through my head. I had to pray and give it to Him (a few times). Because I cannot do anything about it. So why waste my time worrying. I am grateful that I have renewed my perspective. And this won't be the last time I need to be reminded of what my purpose on the earth is, being Him glory today.
