A crossroads

Everything worth having is worth working for.

This is a sentiment that has been haunting me. This whole idea that if you want it then work for it. But when is enough enough. When do you stop pushing against this wall that does not move. Where the doors close and then the windows close and you are stuck wondering how in the world you ended up here. You thought this was what you were meant to do. You might say well just move on. But then I go back to the sentiment.   If you stop then you gave up, if you keep working at it and nothing comes of it would you not be foolish.

And when is the point that you simply say I have worked. I have tried. I have done what you wanted. You have asked me to do these three things. I did them, studied, spent the money, and now you ask me to do four other things in order for me to have a label. To have this piece of paper that deems me worthy. This number that shows that I am capable. Did I not go to school for five years? Did I not pass every class? Have I not been doing the very thing that I am striving for, for the last two years? Why not ask my employers how I am? What will another class tell you?

Please do not think that I am complaining that I have a job or that I have been blessed. But I just feel like I want to do something that I love, is that too hard to ask. (you might say get your head out of the clouds only probably 5% of people are actually doing what they love) (but I want to be that five percent) And right now I do not love what I do. I do not exactly dread going to work but I am not excited about it either. I do what I have to do, but I do not put in anything extra.

I am doing a job that most would not see as a low job, because I am educated and continually expected to hone my craft. Continue to take courses and perfect my job. But really your money is truly where your mouth is. You do not value what we do otherwise our pay would reflect that. I did not go into this job for the money, no one does. But after jumping through all these hoops to become legitimate I do not understand why we have such strict requirements but are paid less than a construction worker, it doesn't quite add up.

I am at a crossroads. Do I continue to work at a job where I do not feel valued, (do I even need to feel valued? Should I bring all the value that I need to the job? Or as mentioned before and I just being foolish of course you need to feel valued) but get paid well and am doing what I went to school for?

Or

Do I do something that would be a great risk? Do I go out on a limb and try something else?
I could fail, but I could succeed I guess that is why it is a risk.