Worry/the future

I was contacted a couple of days ago by a friend that I have known for a few years now. He read my blog and emailed me a question that I have been thinking about for a while now. He related to the idea of risks that I had talked about in my blog and asked if I was really taking a risk next year (well a little more tactfully then that). It was nice to have someone pretty much call me out on it. I had to think about it.

Before when I was deciding on staying home, it had a little bit to do with running from risk. But now I can say that this next year is about me being prepared for the next risk that life has for me. I have been taking risks for the past 6 years and am ready to be in a place where I can safely take risks (kind of an oxymoron). I can focus on some of the avenues that I think God has been preparing me for. I use to wonder why I had the childhood I had, but now I know it is to talk with other girls with similar backgrounds. That is what I hope to do this summer and next year. oh yeah and I plan to teach.

I have been reminded lately of how much money and worry can control you. If I have something on my mind I cannot get to sleep, I can lose my appetite, and actually start to feel sick, all because I am concerned about something that I have no control over. It is really crazy how our lives can be altered so much because of how much we fear the unknown. Worry will control you because you feel as though you are not in control. (which really we are not in control ever). My mother told me the other day when I was allowing worry to take over, "that money is just money. Everything will work out and at the end of the day, money is just money." It was nice to have that reminder. She always knows how to defuse me and always has exactly the right words. I do not know how she does it, but she has talked me down from many an uprising. I love her so, and this is quite appropriate, seeing as it was mother's day yesterday. I have truly been blessed.