So tonight I was driving home from a Bible study, a women's Bible study, and I was struck by a few things. First of all, women are a special breed. We can be feeling so many different things at one time. It just reminds of the scene in Harry Potter, I don't remember which movie, but it had to do with Cho, I think was her name. Anyways. Hermoine is trying to describe to Harry and Ron how Cho is probably feeling and she seriously names like eight things, she is basically describing the female psyche to these boys. And Ron goes, "No one can feel that much at one time." But we do. As women we do. It is crazy the mind of the woman.
As we are all sharing all of our fears, because that is one of the main themes in this study, we are studying Gideon, those things that are holding us back from who we are meant to be and what we are meant to do, I found myself afterwards, because we always pray for the circumstances to improve, we always do, we pray for so and so to get better and for this situation or that situation, I found myself saying God I don't want to pray for their situations and their circumstances. I want to pray for them as people and their hearts and their minds. Because some of them have some horrible things that are happening to them right now. But the thing is in life we are going to have crap, we are going to have horrible things happen to us, our circumstances are going to be changing every day. So I do not really want to pray for that circumstance, I want to pray for your heart and your mind, so when you come to that situation, your heart and mind are already transformed. Because truly crap is going to come knocking at your door, at your door, all the time. And what are you going to be when you answer that door for crap, are you going to be that person cowering in the corner because of fear or are you going to be like that sturdy tree in a storm that is standing their ground because they know where they are rooted. Because truly our circumstances should not change how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about God, how we see God. It shouldn't change it.
So I found myself tonight not praying that so and so would get better or so and so would not change or whatever may be happening in their life. I prayed that God would transform their minds and hearts. So that when they come up against more circumstances that just SUCK, there is no other word sometimes to use besides it just sucks, I pray that it doesn't shake the core of who they are, that their joy is constant, and that their faith in God is steadfast, it stays, it withstands.
I feel bad in saying that I do not pray for their circumstances but truly there external and we make them internal and sometimes they do not need to be. But what is internal is what matters. What do you do with those circumstances? Do you let it shake you? Because as Priscilla pointed out in the study, God says 300 times throughout the Bible Fear Not. He says it to Daniel, to Moses, to Ruth, to Joshua, to Abraham. All these well known people in the Bible. Had trouble with Fear as well and God told them what He is telling you and I right now. Fear Not. (cue that cheesy (sorry) worship song, "Fear not for I am with you") But we do all the time. Hopefully each time Crap comes knocking we are a little more stable, a little more rooted than we were the last time. Now I need to make a disclaimer, this is not about me but about God working in me.
I am writing this to myself as well. Fear is crippling and it is not meant to shape our lives. In 1 John 4 he states that God is love and that perfect love casts out fear. Rest in Him and lay it down. Stop carrying fear around like it is apart of you because it is not meant to be. Just because you have lived with it for a long time does not mean that you are meant to.
I also think that if you are fearing something you are uncomfortable, which means you are either doing something out of your comfort zone, or circumstances have put you out of your comfort zone. I mean think about it would you fear something that you know and are familiar with. No. When you are in your comfort zone you are fine, nothing is really that challenging and you are able to tackle anything that comes your way. This is not how God meant for you to live, He wants you to be in places and circumstances where you have no choice but to rely on Him, trust Him, and cry out to Him. And truthfully that is when Crap is around or when Suck is staying for a long vacation. Or when you are asked to take on a job or responsibility that is not in your strength well house. Being pushed out of your comfort zone, or coming to the end of your capabilities is where God shows up, and then you cannot take any credit for it, but can only give the credit to who it is always due. God.
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