Today the verse that struck me was in 2 Samuel 12:20, "Do not be afraid," replied Samuel. "You have done evils yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart."
This strikes me because the Israelites have done some bone headed things, but Samuel is reassuring them that it is not over, do not quit, but turn from your evil ways. You are not done. He is not done with you.
I have felt this way, because I have been walking my own path for quite some time. Making my own plans, and have come to realize that they have failed. But He is not done with me, there is still hope.
I had an interesting dream last night, that I had to go back to work a day after being in Haiti. Like I was in Haiti for a day and had to go back. And I was trying to figure out how to get back to Haiti. What I could do, What I could tell them and I thought I needed to quit my job to get back to Haiti. I was wondering if that was a bit prophetic. hmmmmm.
(switch)
Why does this have to happen to me all the time. I come here to be with you and there is a distraction right in front me. It is consuming all of my actions and thoughts. I guess it is a reminder that they are everywhere, distractions. I think that just because I go somewhere isolated in a way that I will be free from distractions, but truly they are everywhere. I felt as though God was saying, " Seriously you thought that just because you traveled somewhere remote that you would be free from everything, your past, your insecurities, your life. You will have distractions everywhere, get over it." Maybe a bit kinder than that, or maybe not.
day 4
Yesterday's reading was interesting because Saul was a very attractive man and much taller than anyone else. The obvious choice for King, that the Israelites so desperately desired. Then when Jesus comes he is not the obvious choice for King in stature, but in his heart and demeanor he is. Where as Saul is an obvious choice in stature and not in demeanor. I find that to be interesting because as humans we are so swayed by beauty. We can over look some major flaws when someone is beautiful and charming. Okay maybe not quite that way, but you know what I am saying.
The question we were asked last night was what would our life look like if Jesus was in control of every aspect?
I often wonder if I have truly sought what you want for me? In some ways I wonder if I am in a way seeing a consequence of my disobedience. That I am in this crossroads or very trying time in life where I am confused and questioning my path because I have not sought your path but my own. I am not saying I am being punished but there are consequences for every action that you do. I think I am at the end of my plans and have found that they have failed. I chose to be a teacher and just thought that because I enjoyed it that must mean I am meant to do it. I forged ahead full force into this career without really asking if I was meant to do it. I just assumed I figured out my career path, boy am I lucky. Now here I am 2 years into this so called "career" and I do not like it.
(Switch)
I think I am getting a cold =(
(Switch)
Am I just wanting to get out of teaching because it is hard? That is kind of what I do, bail when things get hard.
I am completely wiped today. Very tired.
Our mountain we moved. This dirt/cliff was all the way to that wood wall.
Love these kids. Funny faces transcends cultures.
I miss her. Musline (not sure of spelling, this is how we pronounced it. lol)
One of the classrooms.
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