Hunger Games. Hungar Games.

I just finished reading the Hunger Games trilogy and I do not have the familiar feeling that accompanies the ending of a series. Normally I am tormented with questions and unsure that I liked the ending, or that it truly ended at all.

With this trilogy I feel completeness that I so rarely feel when I finish a book. It ended well and with closure that was not perfect but beautiful and profound. The idea of love being something that endures and is not a utopia but completely worth it. Katniss followed her instincts and sometimes there was collateral damage, and she understands that it will be with her forever and to survive she needed the one person that could wipe away her nightmares with a touch. Because that collateral damage could consume her, could be her end.

It reminds me of what I will do if/when I have children and how I will relate to them when they seem to question society or decide to think for themselves. How will I explain my past and experience without telling them how to think. I want independent thinkers in my family, but how I will feel when they do not think as I do. (seems funny, but true.)

I loved these books, they kept me reading, I was late for work, completely consumed and am very glad that they are over, so that I can get back to life. But it is sad what it reveals about society. Coming into an election it makes me question what politicians' true motives might be, is it power or is it a new idea that they think they can be successful with for the better of the society. (I am rambling, I am sorry)

Hunger Games was set in a society that was very advanced, but yet very primitive in its control. It is very true that society does not really change, peoples' memories are short. We repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Our struggles are not new, they have been around for centuries. People trying to live beyond their means and therefore sending a ripple throughout society that affects the people who cannot afford it (the ones who did not bring it about in the first place.)

It can create some cynicism. It has created some cynicism.

On My Own!

So today I had the kindies all by myself for the morning. I knew I could handle it, but was still a little worried at having 20 5-6 year olds, 15 of them boys . I am pleased to say that they did not win out, I have the victory. We were able to get all of our work done and have some time to spare. IT was nice being able make my own decisions and not have to ask for validation. I had an aid in the room for about a half an hour and she was quite pleased with my ability to rangle them and move them from task to task. We did have a few punches thrown, one at recess and one that was spured on from reading a book about a snowball fight. That is what I get for being in a classroom full of boys. Anything seems to set them off to play fighting.

I feel a major sense of accomplishment. I can do this and have not lost my ability to teach on my own. I am very to ready to have my own classroom, hopefully this next year that can become a reality. I am waiting to hear back from the state as to if I have my provisional teaching certificate, when that comes through I will be applying for jobs like crazy.

Funny moment!

Funny Moment,

One of my kindies was crying and being grumpy and my teacher asked, "Where is your happy heart?" and he responds, "I don't have it, I left it at home." so cute said through his tears!

Misery does Love its Company!

There are times in your life that you experience things that you want to tell every single person you come in contact with, but the reality is you cannot. For example, a momentous event such as you are in love, and maybe you just realized it. You may be able to tell your mom, and a few friends, but that friend that has been wanting to fall in love for years and never seems to be able to, you cannot tell her.

Or say you got the perfect job and some of your friends hate theirs, they are doing nothing that they went to school for. You cannot be too excited when you tell them, if you care about their feelings at all.

Or maybe you are trying to get fit. You are working out and eating right, no diets or gimmicks. You have lost some weight, but every single person that you want to tell, has not had the same success as you. You want to shout it from the roof tops, but really most people would just hate you and not want to talk to you. It would be counter productive. I felt that way today, for a week I have worked out and ate reasonably well and I have lost three pounds, but today I did not feel as though I could tell anyone because I did not want to be pushing it in their faces.

The reality is that most people are not happy for you when your life is going well, or maybe even one area is going well. They do not want to hear it, if their life is not. It is true misery does love company.

Sorry to be cynical, but their are a few people that will be happy regardless, and these people care more about you than they do about themselves! These people are real treasures, keep em close!

Hey, I travel.

One night I am in New York working in a diner and living in an apartment that could be infested with who knows what.

Then I am in California watching a guy that makes his rounds to many different girls, and they all know about it.

After that I hit up Hawaii where crime fighting is ruthless. I enjoy going to the Hamptons to visit some spiteful people and watch them self-destruct.

I like the weather in Ohio and man they have some talent, signing dancing, acting.

I told my mom, "In one night I am in New York, California and Hawaii, hey, I travel."

If you have not caught on I am discussing TV shows. Going to New York in 2 Broke Girls. Watching a guy swoon girls in California is with the Bachelor. In Hawaii I see 5-0 and in the Hamptons a girl is getting Revenge. In Ohio the Glee club is present and accounting for.

I go all over the world with Pan Am and see exotic places in Survivor and Amazing Race. If I was a recluse and did not want to get off of my couch I would say that is good enough. Getting a second hand view of someone else's ohhh and ahhhh moment.

I desire to have my own ohhh and ahhh moments that are not contingent on someone else's experience. I want to see the majesty in the Taj Mahal, I want to see the blue ocean in contrast to the white houses in Greece. I want to experience the hustle and bustle of Africa.

I want to do and experience first hand, not through second rate, oops I got my finger in that, picture.

25 facts.

1. I love trivia, Trivial Pursuit, Jeopardy, love it all.

2. I have a favorite wood pile, it is on the way to my grandma's and for some reason it brings me joy.

3. I know how to knit, sew, and crochet.

4. I love Bob Harper.

5. I am a huge Green Bay Packers fan, Aaron Rogers, Clay Matthews, I am available.

6. I hum a lot, when I eat, when I am bored and I generally do not notice it.

7. Like #5 I love watching football. My favorite: go to church and then grab lunch and bring it home to watch football. AMAZING!

8.I lived in Ecuador for 8 months and never ate their delicacy, qui, roasted guinea pig, I regret it.

9. I love movies that do not have a happy ending because it reminds me that life is not a fairy tale.

10. I really enjoy sad songs. I feel as though they are very real and relateable.

11. I love Canada. I miss it all the time. I lived there for 5 years.

12.I really enjoy sushi and was just informed by The Biggest Loser that it is not very healthy.

13. I love to dance and wish that I would have taken lessons when I was younger.

14. My favorite movie is Charlie/Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, both of them.

15. I love WoodChuck beer, it is the only kind I can stand.

16.I was the first to graduate from University on my Dad's side of the family.

17. I love the first snow fall of the year.

18. My favorite food is Mexican.

19. I watch about 15 different TV shows, it is ridiculous I know.

20. I love laughing it is my favorite thing to do.

21. I adore vintage one of a kind articles of clothing.

22. My favorite animals are penguins, owls, and giraffes.

23. Christmas time is one of my favorites of the year.

24. I love to talk!

25. I love teaching and being around little kids, they make me laugh so much, see #20!

One Door Closes, Hopefully One Opens!

So I found out that I did not get to the next stage of interviewing for Teach For America. I feel as though I am disappointed. I have a lot to offer, but I also had this feeling from the beginning in the way back of my mind that I would not get it. It was a weird tug-of-war. But now I know that I will not be apart of Teach For America. So now what...

I was kind of hoping that I would get into Teach For America because my next two years would be planned for me, but I guess God has other plans. I think he might want me to have to work a bit to find employment, or he wants to surprise me with something even better. I think he will show up in a way that I didn't expect because I had to trust, it wasn't just given to me.

But I am sitting here maybe 20 minutes after I found out that I did not make it into Teach For America and I have already started thinking of what I am going to do. I have begun to search for jobs in different locations, quite blindly I might add.

I am going to work at becoming certified in Illinois and then we shall see from there. I will have a provisional certificate for 2 years so that will for sure help with employment, but I feel as though I am back where I was when I graduated form University. No prospects. But hopefully something will come up and hopefully it will be perfect, maybe not forever, but at least for now.